Woohoo! I passed my riding theory test after failing one test and missing several tests. Got rid of one major obstacle. Was really afraid to keep failing, was worried that getting a bike license would be another promise to myself that I could not keep.

Suyin sent me the pictures she took in Amsterdam! Here’s the link.

This picture brings back forgotten memories.

I regret to inform you that R.L. Burnside, the bluesman from Mississippi, has died on 1 Sep 2005.

Read an interview with Burnside here.

Last month, another favourite artiste of mine, Ibrahim Ferrer, whose singing gives me goosebumps and is full of “feel” and duende, also passed away.

This post is a tribute to both of them.

Both deaths were conveyed to me by Cheryl Chung.

While in reservist, I started reading The Brothers Karamazov again. I got the book for $5.50. It’s published by Signet and translated by Constance Garnett. I wanted to read it since 1998 when I first came upon it in a lecture about the problem of evil (How can an all-powerful, all knowing, all-benevolent God allow the presence of evil and suffering) in the first philosophy course I took at NUS.

The first time I read the book, I stopped because I found the introductory chapter on the history of the Karamazov family boring. Well, this time round, I’m glad to report that I’m 150 pages into the book, much better than the previous attempt.

I’m struck by the insanity, the lack of control, the depravity and yet self-awareness in the Karamazovs.

Here’s a passage on self-deception that struck me:

Father Zossima speaking to Fydor Karamazov (p 53):

...Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lies comes to such a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love. And in order to distract himself without love he gives way to passions and coarse pleasures and sinks to bestiality in his vices – all this from continual lying to other men and to himself. The man who lies to himself can be more easily offended than anyone else. You know it is sometimes very pleasant to take offense, isn’t it? A man may know that nobody has insulted him, but that he has invented the insult for himself, has lied and exaggerated to make it picturesque, has caught at a word and made a mountain out of a molehill – he knows that himself, yet he will be the first to take offense, and will revel in his resentment till he feels great pleasure in it. And so he will pass to genuine vindictiveness…

Link: Dartmouth College site on The Brothers Karamazov.

Just returned from reservist three days ago. The common refrain I heard was “Wah more siong than BMT”. Endless waiting. How to cope? Sleep. The mind hurts and becomes numb from the constant sleeping and waiting. This is how people become stupid in the army.

Someone got charged and went into the Detention Barracks for 20 days. Wah Lau, not worth it man, to be charged during reservist. I also failed my IPPT cos I missed the passing time for my 2.4 km run by 1 second! Wah lau! I mistook the finishing line. Nevermind, taking the retest will give me a chance to get a silver medal and $200.

My section spent the first two days at Jurong Camp. I saw something damn funny. A piece of paper flew off the notice board and landed on the floor. An NS man walked past it, picked it up and read it. I thought he was either going to throw the paper away or pin it back on the notice board. He did neither. He carefully placed the piece of paper back on the exact same spot of the floor he found it. He then walked away. This can happen only in the army.

My section did all kinds of nonsense during reservist, kena Lion force, throw thunderflash (my first time), fire blanks, pick up expended rounds, receive orders from CO, pick up rubbish etc. We performed miscellaneous labour. We were the Bangala Platoon!

Can you see the Freddy Krueger clawmarks on the wall in the picture above?

Here’s a picture of some of the “soldiers” in my section. I’m second from left.

While I was away in reservist, I didn’t realise the impact of the disaster in New Orleans. I thought it was just another hurricane when I scanned what Daryl wrote here. The news reports are frightful.

Wah lau, got a whole rash of comment spam. Don’t even know how the spammers got to my site, since I never really made an effort publicising it. Well, I’ve deleted all the comment spam.

Have to book in camp very soon. Will be away for field camp for tomorrow and the day after. Sianz.

Another puzzle from Smullyan (from his book Forever Undecided):

Two people-A and B- each make an offer, which is given below. Determine whose offer is better.

A’s Offer
You are to make a statement. If the statement is true, you get exactly ten dollars. If the statement is false, then you get either less than ten or more than ten dollars, but not exactly ten dollars.

B’s Offer
You are to make a statement. Regardless of whether the statement is true or false, you get more than ten dollars.

I wasted my youth learning useless tricks like how to spin things in various ways. I remember irritating my Chinese teacher in Primary School so much that he asked me to stand up and spin a book in front of my class. He said that the book had to drop eventually, and of course it did. My personal record was ten minutes.

While schooling, I also spent a lot of time in class spinning pens. And now, they even have a website devoted to teaching you how to spin pens. Being the overachiever that I am, I of course already know all the pen-spinning tricks.

I also learnt how to juggle when I was in army. The only thing I didn’t learn was how to spin a basketball.

Via lifehacker.

Recovered an ST article dated 5 June 2005 from the trash bin after I realised that I did want to record down some trite but potentially useful exhortations by Carly Fiorina (ex-CEO of HP) that I found particularly inspiring in a moment of weakness, which I shared with C some months back cos I thought she might find them useful :

When you challenge other people’s ideas of who or how you should be, they may try to diminish and disgrace you.

You can spend a lifetime resenting the tests, angry about the lsights and the injustices. Or, you can rise above it.

People’s ideas and fears can make them small – but they cannot make you small. People’s prejudices can diminish them but they cannot diminish you.

Small-minded people can think they determine your worth. But only you can determine your worth.

...Living life defined by your own sense of possibility, not by others’ notions of limitations, is the path to success.

What you are today is God’s gift to you. What you make of yourself is your gift to God. He is waiting for that gift right now. Make it something extraordinary.

Ok, now can dump the article back into the trash.

Since my last post on the article Overcoming Serious Indecisiveness (which happens to be extremely popular with comment spammers, I’m pleased to report), I actually went to read some of the 81 page long article.

I think I suffer from decidophobia and I should remind myself that “Just being worried about making serious decisions is like sitting on a rocking chair—it gives you something to do but doesn’t get you anywhere. Therefore worrying about making a decision is a waste of time…Decide like a man of action; implement like a man of thought. It does not take much strength to decide what to do, but it requires great strength to do things.

Of all the popular strategic methods listed on how people avoid making serious decisions, I recognised some that I’m particularly prone to:

Be overconfident: This makes you optimistic and then make high risk decisions. As Henri Poincare said, “Doubt everything or believe everything: these are two equally convenient strategies. With either, we dispense with the need to think for ourselves.”

Be too prudent: Be over curious long enough to delay the decision. If you are too careful, you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over what you are going to decide. Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the opportunities, by fearing to make our decision. Indecision is debilitating; it feeds upon itself; it is, one might almost say, habit-forming. Not only that, but it is contagious; it transmits itself to others who depend on you.

Post-decision anxieties: The more highly desirable the alternatives that must be rejected and the faster the decision must be made, the greater are these anxieties (also known as cognitive dissonance). Most people accentuate the positive in their decision and deny or ignore the positive aspect of the rejected alternatives.

Have second thoughts: Second thoughts have aborted more useful decisions than all the difficult circumstances, overwhelming obstacles, and dangerous detours fate ever could throw at you. Undermining your authenticity by succumbing to someone else’s second thoughts is a sinister, subtle, and seductive form of self-abuse.

I also recognised one method that is popular in the civil service:

Set up a committee: To make decisions, try to set up a committee not necessarily consisting of experts. So if everything goes well, every member is proud of such a decision. But if everything goes wrong, nobody is responsible. Every member would say, “It was not I; it was the committee’s decision. You see, we couldn’t agree, therefore we voted”. Put a face to a faceless group, call it “the committee.” A committee is an animal with four back legs. The committee’s members, who are wishing that just to vote in “either/or” fashion are those who are not able to contribute to the decision-making process, therefore shouldn’t be trusted with an important decision. A group decision support system could be a technologically advanced version of this strategy. Of course setting up a committee could be done correctly with the proper experts. However, my experience has shown that committees are used more to displace blame and accountability. I see no good in having group decision makers. Let one person be the decision maker; let one person be responsible and accountable. A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled. The greatest things are often accomplished by individual people, not by committees.
What does it mean to say that committee might have a responsibility? Committee cannot have a responsibility any more than the business can. The only entities that can have responsibilities are people.

I MUST remind myself that:

One is responsible for one’s own life. Passivity provides no protection: One must accept responsibility for a decision before one can make any decision…You ought to never try to avoid the duty of making up your mind for yourself. If you do not make decisions for yourself, others do it for you

Ok, now I can throw away the article. Choose how to live! Now!
.

.
.

.
.

.
.

Easier said than done.