Back to my experience at Dhamma Malaya.

First some pictures.

This is a picture of me and my teacher from the 10-day course I did at St. John’s Island. We had a different teacher for the 3-day course.

The room I stayed.

The meditation hall.

The reception and office.

When I reached Dhamma Malaya, I remember feeling honoured and privileged to be among the students to attend the very first course at Dhamma Malaya. The 3-day course at Dhamma Malaya was significant to me in several ways even though at times I did consider myself insane to go through the meditation routine again, which I still found tough despite completing a 10-day course in August.

First, it deepened my theory, understanding and practice of Vipassana. People like me don’t really get it the first time round. I struggled with the Vipassana technique during my first 10-day course. And I realised that I had missed one key instruction when I practised at home, that is, instead of lingering on, I should have moved my attention to another area once I feel sensation in an area. Second, I understood the importance of sitting still for Vipassana to work effectively.

Second, I managed to stay awake during all the 430 to 630 am sittings. I stayed in the hall throughout the two hours and was able to do Anapana meditation even though my mind was not alert enough to do Vipassana.

Third, I managed to sit through all the Adhitthanas, which required a meditator, to sit one hour without opening their eyes, hands or legs for three times a day. See another blogger’s account of Adhitthana here. She also has a series of posts on Vipassana.

Back to the purpose of this post – my experience. On the second evening or night, during Adhitthana if I don’t recall wrongly, I experienced something that was very unusual. By that day or the day before, I had taken the cushion away while meditating because there were no more small cushions and the large cushion, I found too saggy and uncomfortable. So, I sat only on a thin piece of cloth that covered the floor I sat. It was a cold night. I was working hard to remain equanimous and extremely still in my posture. Suddenly, I felt a grip like a brace on the two sides of my lower back, at the same level as my hip. This was an area that I normally have no sensations. And then lo and behold, something extremely unbelievable happened. My left lower back started to emit out an intense amount of heat. The heat emitted was so intense it felt supernatural! I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything like that in my life before.

You may have seen kung fu shows of fighters sitting to meditate or heal/channel energy to someone, there would have been a classic scene where immense heat is emitted from the fighter’s body and the heat was shown as steam. It felt something like that. (Has recordmymind lost his mind? Is he losing his mind?) I was thinking to myself, the poor guy at the back, if he’s sitting too closely, he must be feeling the effects of the heat. But I did not manage to check with him after the course.

It could have been an extremely powerful delusion brought on by the rigorous conditions of the meditation course. Perhaps my mind was playing tricks on me after I sat still for an hour. But I swear, it felt real, that supernatural heat that came out. Maybe I’m going insane. So be it, I suppose. But that was what I experienced. Like I said, it was a cold night, but my shirt was wet and the sweat soaked through my underwear, my pants and the cloth I was sitting on. But I don’t discount any other more scientific, natural and less mystical explanations of what happened.

The next day, I described my experience to the teacher, who told me that I was shedding some sankhara of anger or passion. When I mentioned that I normally don’t have much sensation in my lower back, he told me that we never know which part of the body the sankharas come out.

I’ve extracted from here one explanation of sankhara, which sounds just about similar to what I understand (although the term should be properly understood as part of a four-fold Buddhist theory of consciousness. For more details, see article by Goenka here.):

The traces of suffering from earlier lives are present in each individual as sankhara (Sanskrit: samskara). The presence of sankhara is the result of various painful events and experiences which have befallen one in this life and in previous lives. They manifest themselves as subconscious traces in the mind and are present as impurities. They will bring pain in the future. They must be eliminated completely lest they go on provoking reactions in the mind. These reactions are the reason why the wheel of samsara keeps turning.

The goal of Vipassana, therefore, is to learn how to act instead of react. Sankhara is the manifestation of karma, the energy of karma. Each individual is a victim of the karma created in earlier lives, but Goenka claims the manifestation of karma in the form of sankhara can be erased. Contrary to one’s karma the things you do now will determine the type of life you will get next time. “The moment that all sankhara are eliminated a sensation of no-death will arise because no sankhara will emerge to pollute the mind, and this is the ultimate state of nirvana which no word can describe.”

Digression: see also another interesting article by S. N. Goenka called “What Happens At Death?“.

I attribute this unusual experience to the fact that I had been working hard, meditating seriously, to the best of my ability, once the course started at Dhamma Malaya. I think meditating is like cooking potatoes or eating. The first minute, the potato is not cooked. The first mouthful of rice you swallow, you are still hungry. But you keep going and eventually, results show.

The next significant experience worth reporting happened on the last day of the course, during the metta session, the sharing of merit and loving kindness with all beings. For some reason (maybe from working too hard at meditation), when I heard the sentence “All of you have acquired great merit”, my body started shaking (slightly similar to yoga postures that challenge your tummy) and tears started flowing from my eyes. I wasn’t sobbing dramatically but the tears just flowed while my body shook and shook. (Those of you who’ve had religious experiences might understand what I’m talking about.)

And while all this was happening, the guy sitting just behind me on a chair farts. Loudly.

A religious experience indeed.

As promised earlier, part 2 of the video.

A Simple Path – Part 2